Posted by: Chris | September 17, 2010

Chris Armstrong: Gay Hitler Satan

Andrew Shirvell is currently an Assistant Attorney General in Michigan and, at least facially, a legitimate person.  But outside his day job, he has a rather strange obsession: Chris Armstrong, the openly gay student body president of University of Michigan, about whom he writes a cascade of breathlessly hyperbolic invective on the aptly named Chris Armstrong Watch (as well as creates awesome pictures like the one above).  If not for this local news segment, I would have assumed this all to be a rather stupid hoax.  But it’s all true and incredibly readable.  I have excerpted some personal favorite bits below the fold, but serious, people, you should read the website yourselves.

Here, for example, is a lengthy investigation of an Armstrong aquaintence, twice removed, using nothing but Facebook posts:

Sources familiar with the Olteans describe Patricia Oltean’s relationship with her sons as “bizarre” and “weird.” The next FB screenshot perfectly illustrates this point.

On January 22, 2010, Patricia took her then-19-year-old son David gambling at the Soaring Eagle Casino, which is operated by the Saginaw Chippewa Indian Tribe near Mount Pleasant. Now, the legal age to gamble at Soaring Eagle is, in fact, 18; so, this time, “Patti” and her son David were not breaking any laws. But look closely at David’s FB status in which he calls his mother by her first name. Moreover, what mother with good judgment takes her teenage son gambling on a Friday night? I guess the answer is the same type of mother who obviously condones her underage son’s possession of an illegal fake ID! It’s no wonder that John and David Oltean are as screwed-up as they are: their wealthy mother is more interested in being their friend than being the parent they desperately need.

As if that weren’t enough, David, like his older brother John, has some other “issues” as well. Most notably, David harbors some racist resentments against Native Americans and African Americans.

A mere two days before David and his mother hit-up a Native-American owned-and-operated casino in order to make some money, David was complaining on FB about the fact that he had to learn something about their heritage. This is shameful, especially in light of the fact that the racist secret student society that Chris Armstrong belongs to (Order of Angell) has come under such condemnation specifically because it mocks and trivializes Native American culture. It seems that in the wealthy and privileged country-club-like society from which Chris Armstrong and John and David Oltean come from Native Americans and other racial minorities are to be mocked and treated like dirt under their shoes.
   

A few choice descriptions of Armstrong underling Alex Serwer:

The Ann Arbor police officers on the scene went-up to the residence’s entrance and apparently inquired as to who lived there. Armstrong cowardly remained inside and sent out his personal footstool (and housemate), Alex Serwer. Fresh off a three-week European vacation, MSA Business Representative Serwer, pictured above with police, was asked to produce identification, which he eventually complied with only after he went back inside the house to find it…
Another of the party hosts, Alex Serwer, is also a so-called student leader. Serwer represents the business school in MSA and Chris Armstrong recently appointed him as his MSA “chief of staff,” a.k.a. chief lackey. Serwer is openly homosexual and has been rumored to also be carrying on sexual relations – from time to time – with MSA Vice-President Jason Raymond.
  

Some brilliant scare quote usage:

Armstrong was not in Ann Arbor that night, as he was still in Washington, D.C., “interning” with the office of U.S. Speaker of the House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi. In fact, that night Armstrong was reportedly at a concert featuring the notorious anti-Catholic bigot, “Lady Gaga.” Nonetheless, it appeared to me that several of Armstrong’s supporters may have been in direct communication with Armstrong via their “smart phones.”
  

And an astute observation:

That repulsive comment was then followed by another FB wall post from one of Armstrong’s fans, Patrick Benjamin Mitchell, who opined:
 
 Apparently you host the best gay orgies. . . Ever!
  
It seems clear that Patrick, also a homosexual, was not invited to the orgy event, which is probably because he is also African American. 

 

That’s just from the first page or so and does not include any of the run of the mill silliness in the “Christian, pro-life, and minority students are now on notice that their First Amendment rights will not be tolerated under Armstrong’s increasingly totalitarian student government regime” vein.  All this is not to say that the targets are entirely blameless.  Indeed, Armstrong and Co. seem like exactly the sort of people one disliked in college, which makes the petty attacks even more amusing.

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Responses

  1. That is unbelievably awesome. Everyone who wants to know evil should spend some time with “Satan” Oltean’s wild smile: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_P3q12eyoQ0g/TI0-Et9uPuI/AAAAAAAAARE/P5q29FvVV00/s1600/Chris+%2B+Oltean+Disrespecting+African-American+DPS+Officer,+March+%2710.bmp.

    (The name of the bitmap also adumbrates a theme.)

  2. That picture is made even more awesome by the fact that Oltean is a Nathan Elliot look-alike.

  3. […] Will Watch the Watchmen Watching Chris Armstrong Watch? I hate to repost things, but the latest update over at my newest favorite blog, is really something.  Andrew Shirvell is […]

  4. You are an evil wicked person! Leave Chris alone!! How can you justify your actions with christianity!!! Shame on you!

    • Ms. O’Flaherty, I believe you may have misinterpreted the purpose of this post.

      Unless, of course, I am the Chris to which you refer, in which case, I am much obliged for your spirited defense.

    • Er… did you read the post, or just skim it? Because I don’t think the post is about what you think it’s about.
      1. This post, frankly, could care less what Chris Armstrong is actually like. It was discussing Shirvell’s Armstrong Watch website, which you must admit is a very odd sort of past-time for an Assistant Attorney General (at least, I hope it’s an odd past-time. Maybe this is how most lawyers occupy themselves in free time).
      2. At no point did Chris (the poster) indicate that he thought his actions were justified by Christianity. In fact, the only religious reference in the entire post was in a quote from the Watch explicitly characterized as exemplifying “run of the mill silliness.”

  5. Kate O’s comment, particularly the part about “actions,” makes a lot more sense on the assumption that she thought she was addressing Andrew Shrivell. That would explain both why “actions” is in plural and why she chose the noun in the first place, which is typically reserved for speech – like Shrivell’s – with particularly pronounced perlocutionary effects (i.e. speech that interferes with others).

    While a deficit of my interpretation is that it imputes onto O’Flaherty some minimal degree of rationality and self-awareness, an advantage is that it still implies that she’s loopy as a lucky charm (even one of the elliptical ones).

    Also, because she doesn’t know how the Internet works, it is likely she won’t be back.

  6. It’s time to do some major trolling of Andrew Shrivell.

  7. […] acquaintences.  He is definitionally pathetic and illegitimate, and the only proper response is to laugh in his face.  Instead, our culture of perpetual outrage has decided to treat Shirvell’s […]

  8. […] (who is sleeping with who)  that their fundamental triviality is laid bare.  As I said in the original post, I thought this was a bad joke until I found the WXYZ news report, hardly a sign of “a […]


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