Posted by: i82much | September 12, 2009

Douchebag jackpot

Im going to go tweet about this right now

I'm going to go tweet about this right now

I gave my cleaning lady a raise today, even though she didn’t ask, as my own little contribution to fighting the recession.

Went to the gym this morning. As I left, everyone said I was the best!

The people who say I’m arrogant and shallow don’t see me when I’m at home with my wife. Did I mention that she’s a former swimsuit model?

228 this morning. Rock-hard abs. Looking good. I’d fuck myself if I were flexible enough.

it’s so life-affirming when the poor fall in love.

This is the perfect website.  Go to town, folks.




  2. Favorites:

    List of things broken by my penis, to date: magnum condoms, rubber vaginas, women’s hearts.

    If you weren’t on Twitter in 2007 you are NOT an authority on social media. At all.

    this morning i passed what i thought was a calvin klein ad, but it was just a mirror…how WEIRD!

    Guy next to me just mocked my 2G iPhone as an “inferior product”. If he only knew who he was talkng to…

    tore off my shirt to show off these rippling muscles while replacing the water cooler jug. my hotness is wasted in an office w/no hot women

    Everything clayonnaise:

    • Haha that guy is good though not quite in same way as the unironic tools

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